Intimate Details Of My Love Affair With Writing!

I was introduced to writing at a very young age. When I was about 6 years old, I had my first exhibition. My pieces of creativity were pinned to our home curtains! I would invite neighbors and my relations who lived close by, to come over for the exhibition. At the time, my motivation for holding an exhibition wasn’t because I loved writing or any style of creativity. It was because I used to get a few coins every time someone came to visit the "exhibition"! Looking back at it now, it all seems a bit embarrassing. Whenever there are family reunions, these things have a nasty way of coming to haunt me!

In school, the form of writing was essays. I didn’t like writing essays. Possibly because English Literature was the only subject I didn’t get an A! Then there was university. Every assignment was followed by report. That was when I began to realize that there was no escape from writing. Then it finally happened.

I was in my final year at university and I had to write my BSc thesis. I was really in love with my project. It was a software project on web services;WSDL,UDDI (never mind, if you are not aware of the technical jargon.) That was when the web services concept started to lift off. A lot of people were interested about the project and their interest was very encouraging to me. In order to get my idea across, I had to write. This time it was different because I was writing about something I loved. It didn’t seem like "just another assignment".

After graduation, I began my career as a software engineer. Again, No escape from documentation and writing. In the mean time, I was also doing my Master in Computer Science. Again, it required a thesis. That’s where I discovered the world of blogging and the beauty of "having my own mic"! Once I finished my MSc thesis, I had some time on my hands and started blogging on Enhance Life.

Grammar in The New World (=Body Language Blunders!)

The deal here is that my expertise is judged on my ability to communicate. I have realized that if I want credibility from the written word, I need to master grammar, spelling, punctuation and sentence structure. With every post, I dedicate my self to master the craft of writing. This is an ongoing learning process; please bare with me.

There are two vitamins that I take on a daily basis to nourish this writing affair.
1. Grammar Girl. Her podcasts are easy to listen, very informative and answered most of my grammar uncertainties.
2. Brain Clark at CopyBlogger taught me everything about writing magnetic headlines and more....

How I please my partner (=YOU)

In any affair there is always a partner; in dangerous and daring love affairs, there are many partners! I may fall into the later. Now, don’t let naughty thoughts enter your mind. I am referring to my writing people!

So how do I please you? It is very simple to put into words, really. I try to find out what makes you happy and keep doing it. Applying it in everyday life is a totally different story altogether though.

A few months ago, I was a bit obsessed with what other "popular" bloggers were writing. Here I was spending a fair amount of time on my writing, but didn’t see any positive results from a numbers point of view. I tried to imitate their writing style. You know what, it didn’t work! The numbers told the same pathetic story. I suppose, a partner knows when their better half is trying to be someone, he/she is not. I gave that up and just concentrated on being me, before it led to a break up! This time around, the results are encouraging. Yes, I am going to keep on "being me" from now on.

I would like to take this opportunity to appreciate all my devoted partners (=YOU) ;-) Thank you very much for putting up with me. Your communication, encouragement and help, has definitely taken my affair with writing, to unimaginable heights.

Stirring the pot (=Come away with me!)

Writing has always been (and will be) my way of discovering the "gifts" I have and then finding ways to share them with others. If you are not part of my ever growing writing affair, it is not too late to join. Please consider subscribing to my RSS feed. You can also subscribe by Email and have new posts sent directly to your inbox.

Note: This post was written as part of Joanna Young’s group writing project My Love Affair With Writing.

How did you come about the habit of writing? Do you have a story to tell?

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American Idol Got Me Thinking About My Most Valuable Possession

Music plays a big part in my life. Mainly it is a hobby, which sometimes turns into an obsession! I can play a few instruments and I like listening to various genres of music. I love to sing as well, but God has not bestowed that talent on me. Of course, that doesn’t limit me from exercising my vocal chords. I have my own center stage; in the shower!

Now you might understand why I am an ardent American Idol fan. Yes, I watch every show (without skipping through the commercials!). It is my time for entertainment, after a hard days work. Believe it or not, I was inspired to write this post, based on a certain comment that was made by Paula. (So may be watching American Idol is not a total waste of time!)

Let me take you back to last week, when the top 12 girls sang. Just before Kady Malloy started singing, they showed a recap of some scenes recorded backstage during Hollywood week. In an attempt to get her nerves out, Kady did an excellent imitation of Britney Spears. (Watch the embedded clip.)

However, her song Groovy Kind of Love, didn’t “wow” the judges. Simon said, when she does Britney, she's brilliant, but when she does herself, the lights go off. He went on to say, “I don’t know who could impersonate you”!

After Simon's slaughter, Rayan came over and asked a question from Kady. Not only to Kady but this is one question that is very important to each one of us. Rayan’s question was, “Is it difficult being you because so much is at stake?”

How Should I Be? JUST BE …!

The conversation progressed and Paula explains to Kady that she probably gets too caught up wondering how she should be, but that's the whole thing, she needs to just "be."

"Your identity is your most valuable possession."
— The Incredibles, That Elastic-Girl —

Not only American Idol contestants, but many of us also fall into this trap.

When I was in my early teens, I was infatuated with the dress code of the most popular girl at my school. Every time I went shopping, I would look for cloths that matched her style of dressing. The cloths were never "me", but I "copied" her dress sense with the hope of being popular. As with many things at that age, after sometime I grew out of that.

Let’s turn our head towards blogging. Haven’t you every tried to "imitate" what the famous bloggers are doing? Did you copy their blog template? blog structure? Some would even go as far as imitating the writing style of famous bloggers. Perhaps this is done with the intention of gaining more popularity. The mind set of "What worked for him/her will work for me" is established.

Imitating the blogging style of someone else was just one example. There are many other areas that we all struggle with and sometimes when the stakes are high, it so very temping (and easy) "to be someone else".

You and I have come long way since our childhood. I am sure you will agree with me, when I say - many factors have influenced you to be the person you are today.

I would like to hear your thoughts on the matter? Have you ever tried adapting another person's characteristics? How far did you go? Where do you draw the line between gaining influence from someone and protecting your identity?

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A Software Developer's Love Letter!

This was an email that was forwarded to me. I thought of sharing the creativity with you. Enjoy!

Baby,

I saw you yesterday while surfing on the local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For a long time, I've been lonely, trying to find a bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now. My life is just an uncompiled program without you that never produces an executable code and hence is useless.

You not only have a beautiful face, but all your Activex controls are attractive as well. Your smile is so delightful that it encourages me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power. When you looked at me last evening, I felt all my program modules running smoothly and giving expected results, which I have never experienced before.

With this letter, I just want to convey that, if we linked together, I'll provide you with all the objects and libraries necessary for a human being to live an error free life. Also don't bother about the firewall, which may be created by our parents as I've strong hacking capabilities by which I'll ultimately break their security passwords and make them accept our marriage.

I anticipate that nobody is already logged into your database so that my connect script would fail. And it's all certain that if this happened to me, I will crash my system beyond recovery. Kindly interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of your inbox.

Only yours,
SW guy

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Thinking About Money The Rich Dad, Poor Dad Way (Book Review)

Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money--That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not! is Robert Kiyosaki's and Sharon Lechter's first best-selling book.It has been on The New York Times Best Seller List for five years and was USA Today's No. 1 money book for 2004.

Given Robert Kiyosaki’s popularity, some readers might disagree with the opinions stated in this post. However, this is my unbiased thoughts on the book, regardless of its popularity.

The entire book is wrapped around a story of how he learned, observed and distinguished two people making money; rich dad and the poor dad.(I wonder why this book wasn’t titled, “The tale of two dads”! )
His real dad who was highly educated, is called the "Poor Dad". The other, was his best friend Mike's dad, who was an entrepreneur with very little school education. Kiyosaki calls him the "Rich Dad".

Browsing Through Rich Dad, Poor Dad

Lesson 1: The Rich Don’t Work For Money
The book starts off with some appealing stories about two little boys (Kiyosaki and Mike)who are trying to make money. Rich dad teaches the boys priceless lessons on money, by making them learn through experience. Kiyosaki's Poor dad also gave him advice; contradicting advice to Rich Dad. Kiyosaki talks about how he struggled as a kid to choose between the two very different ways of dealing with money.

Lesson 2: Why Teach Financial Literacy? makes his case by stating, the growing gap between rich and poor is rooted in the antiquated educational system. Later he helps the reader understand the difference between an asset and a liability.

Lesson 3: Mind Your Own Business relates his experience of selling photocopiers on commission at Xerox and how he used his earnings to buy real estate. Basically, the message Kiyosaki gives in this chapter is to keep your day job, but start minding your own business!

Lesson 4: The History of Taxes and the Power of Corporations advices you to do your own research and find out what tax laws will bring the best advantages.

Lesson 5: The Rich Invent Money highlights that self-confidence coupled with a high financial IQ, can earn more rather than merely saving a little bit every month. It also urges you to make good use of your time and find the best deals.

Lesson 6: Work to Learn –Don’t Work for Money brings to light, five obstacles to financial independence; Fear, Cynicism, Laziness, Bad Habits and Arrogance. Unlike other chapters this chapter offers you some actionable suggestions on how to deal with it.

My favorite excerpt

Most people never study the subject [money]. They go to work, get their paycheck, balance their checkbooks, and that’s it. On top of that, they wonder why they have money problems. Few realize that it’s their lack of financial education that is the problem.

What this Rich Dad, Poor Dad is NOT

Before I bought this book, I read a fair amount of reviews. Even though the book was a best seller, there were quite a number of critiques. Here's my 2 cents ...

• This book doesn't tell people what to do

If you're looking for 'how to get rich' instructions, you won't find specific step by step instructions in Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I think Kiyosaki intentionally does not give specific instructions, because he believes that everyone must find their own way. As he continues to say "My books and games are not designed to tell you "how to do something", but are designed to teach you how you must think and who you must become.


• Fact or fiction

When I initially began reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad, I wondered whether the story portrayed by Kiyosaki was true. Did he really have a “Poor Dad” with such an attitude? I suppose I will never know. The more I read of this book, it didn't really matter whether the story was fact or fiction. He tells a very good story! There is a moral in the story and it definitely teachers you something.

Overall

I found Rich Dad, Poor Dad to be very inspiring. Somehow, I felt that I was reading this book, a few years too late! The book doesn’t overwhelm people with technical jargon. It simply concentrates on the inner being of what it takes to be rich.

I’d recommend this book as an good way to challenge your thinking about work and money, in ways you haven't thought before. However, if you need technical "how to's" and "to do's" in personal finance, this book is not for you.


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Happy, Sad Or In-Between? Songs To Fit Every Mood, Moment, And Reason This Valentine

On my way to work this morning, the radio played some really lovy dovy songs, one track after another, for quite a while. I double-checked the radio to make sure I was tuned onto my regular channel. After that batch of songs, came the commercials. Later, the DJ explained the logic behind the continuous love songs! In my moment of insanity, I forgot what day it was.

So, today I am going to take a break from my normal blogging niche. Listed below are my recommendations for the "frame of mind", you currently are in, might have been in or will be, in the future! Regardless of where you are in the relationship spectrum (hopeless crush, 20th anniversary or sworn off love for good), there is a song out there that matches your situation like a needle to a groove. Which one is your story?

Valentine’s Day: Happily ever after

• You're Still the One By Shania Twain


• Everyday I Love You By Boyzone


• The Love I Found In You By Jim Brickman


• Through The Years By Kenny Rogers

Valentine’s Day: "You are the best thing that happened to me!"

• When I See You Smile By Chicago


• You're One in A Million By Bosson


• Its Your Love By Tim McGraw & Faith Hill


• Since I Found You By Air Supply

Valentine’s Day: Complicated

• You and Me By Lifehouse


• Don't Give Up On Us By Owen Wilson


• Too Little Too Late By Jojo


• How Can We Be Lovers By Michael Bolton


• If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don't Want To Be Right By Rod Stewart

Valentine’s Day: Why, Why.. why?

• If You're Not The One By Daniel Bedingfield


• Anyone Of Us By Gareth Gates


• Why Do You Want Him? By Green Day


• Some Guys Have All The Luck By Rod Stewart

(Note: Might need a bottle of whiskey to listen to these!)

Valentine’s Day:Can’t Let Go

• Until I Find You Again By Richard Marx


• Say It Isn’t So By Gareth Gates


• I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me By Vanessa Williams


• Against All Odds By Westlife & Mariah Carrey

Valentine’s Day:Heart Broken

• Where Do Broken Hearts Go By Whitney Houston


• I Will Love Again By Lara Fabian


• Heartbreaker By Dionne Warwick


• Ghost Of You And Me By BBMak

Valentine’s Day:Goodbyes

• Remember me this way By Jordan Hill


• I'll Remember You By Atlantic Star


• Love Will Lead You Back By Taylor Dayne

Valentine’s Day: Miss You

• Home By Micheal Bobly


• Here Without You By 3 Doors Down

Valentine’s Day:Single, Alone and Waiting..

• All By Myself By Eric Carmen


• Waiting For A Star To Fall By Boy Meets Girl


• Right Here Waiting For You By Richard Marx


• I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For By U2

Valentine’s Day: Pessimistic

• Too Much Love Will Hurt You By Queen


• Look What Love Has Done To Me By Mattie Groves


• Love Hurts By Nazareth


• Love Stinks! By Adam Sandler


• In the end By Linkin Park

Valentine’s Day: Angry...

• I Hate You So Much Right Now By Kelis


• I Don't Love You By My Chemical Romance


• Are you Happy Now By Michelle Branch


• Hate (I Really Don't Like You) By Plain White T's

Finally... Valentine’s Day: Dedicated to all the ladies who read this post!

• I Will Survive By Gloria Gaynor


• Man! I Feel Like a Woman By Shania Twain

Valentine’s Day: Dedicated to all the men

• No Woman, No Cry By Bob Marley lol!

Is your story here? What’s your favorite mood and what songs will you recommend? I look forward to your comments.

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The War Is Over; Man Understands Women

About a week ago, a good friend of mine broke up with his girl friend of 3 years. There were many reasons for the break up, but he summed it up by saying, “complicated practicalities”. I called him up last night to check up on him. It is hard enough going through a break-up but I suppose it is even more difficult when valentine day is around the corner. As expected he was feeling down and was full of self-pity. After complaining about his situation for several minutes, he sighed and said, “I give up. I don’t understand women.”

I bet he is not the only one. Men, through the ages have thrown up their hands in surrender, after battling one of womankind!

So this post is something I put together, to help him and others, who are in similar situations. It is dedicated (but not limited) to those of you who will be spending this Valentine’s day drinking Bleach Schnapps and jumping off fire escapes!

So You Wanna Understand Women?

I am aware that dealing with women is a topic of vital importance to most men. I won’t lie to you, or hold out some ridiculous claim that reading this post, will instantly turn you into a super-stud women understanding machine. Nevertheless, this post will get you closer, from where you are now. After all, women are complicated creatures!

Let’s get started, we have got a lot of work to do!

3 Facts to keep in mind, Always

Fact #1: Men are still from mars, and women are still from Venus
Yes, I know; you already know that right? However, I must remind you THIS is the root cause of all problems. I think the one thing that men and women have in common is that they are from the same species.

Here is an excerpt, from Doug and Barbara Pease’s book,Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What to Do About It with some good examples!

When a man goes to a rest room, he usually goes for one reason and one reason only. Women use rest rooms as social lounges and therapy rooms. Women who go to a rest room as total strangers, can come out as best friends and lifelong buddies. But everyone would be instantly suspicious of the man who called out, “Hey Frank, I am going to the toilet, you wanna come with me?”
Men dominate TV remote controls and flick through the channels; women don’t mind watching the TV commercials. Under pressure men drink alcohol and invade other countries; women eat chocolate and go shopping!

Just as much as men are trying to understand women, women are also trying to understand men! It is a continuous cycle.

Fact #2: Women… each and every one of them is unique. Once you figure one of them out, another will throw you a curve ball!
All women are not the same; all relationships aren’t either. Just because you know one woman, doesn’t mean the same “style and strategy” will work with all other women. Comparing each other won’t help either!

Fact #3:Man has will, but woman has her way
At family reunions, there is an embarrassing story that practically everyone keeps reminding my cousin brother. They laugh and tease him about it, to date! Let me share it with you (and hope my neck doesn’t get chopped off!). When he was in forth grade he had a crush on a girl. I think it was his first crush. One day she received a note from her saying, “I like you; Do you like me? ”. Obviously, he was over the moon! Later that day he went over to talk to her on the playground. She was standing with a group of her friends. When he was approaching her, she had pointed at him, and everyone has giggled. Sadly, it was a big joke it was considered a joke by these 11 year olds. But my cousin was very upset and he refused to go to school for about a month!

Anyways, what I mean to say is that, the typical guy is usually clueless about the mind games women play. You better be aware of what’s going on.

What does she really mean?

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not get been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is "What does a women want?" ~Sigmund Freud

#1. Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead.]
Listen and don’t offer advice until it is asked.
I wrote a post about this a couple of weeks ago. If you want to be understood
#2. "Yeah yeah, you look fine" is not a compliment. Show some interest in our lives! We appreciate attentiveness.
#3. Nothing says "I love you" like offering to go to the grocery store! Try to do what they are waiting for you to do.
#4. Don’t take everything we do for granted
#5. Be okay with our independence
#6. Pay close attention (there might be a quiz later)
#7. Do unexpected stuff. I mean NICE unexpected stuff!
#8. Remember dates. If you forget use the assistance of technology to remind you (But don’t tell her that!).
#9. "My eyes are up here ...", need I say more?
#10. I don’t want to talk about it = Go away, I need some space.
#11. I’ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
#12. Be yourself. Don't try to be anything but yourself. Generally, women know if you are really trying, not to be you!

This blog would probably run out of storage space, if I try to detail out every delicate thing.Having said all this, it can be easily summarized into one point.

Guys, we are complicated, messy, and hard to understand....sometimes ;-) While there are many articles offering you "magical insight", what will work for you will be how well you communicate. If you want to know something, just ask. The true solution will come when we are finally able to encourage open and honest communication. As I said before, no two women are exactly the same so sometimes a generic answer will only help you to understand the one you care about even less.

Perhaps, Helen Rowland has the best of advice anyone can ever offer.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot, and not try to understand her at all. ~Helen Rowland

Ladies...Are you with me? Have I left out anything? What have you got to share?
and gentlemen... Is there a guide to understanding men? lol ;-)

These steps are easy to learn and remember. With practice (and patience) you will master them and will be more successful in understanding women, than you ever imagined. Good Luck and Happy Valentines day. Hope you have a good one!

Note:If you have read up to this point, it shows that you have a genuine interest in the subject. Don’t let the journey end here; check out these books. These books offer more superior wisdom, than I ever can!

* GenderSmart: Solving The Communication Puzzle Between Men and Women
* What Women Want: What Every Man Needs to Know About Sex, Romance, Passion, and Pleasure



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Fake It and Flaunt It? (Even Personal Development Bloggers Do It!)

This may be old news for some of you but I thought I would write a post for the benefit of those who may not know about it. After all, until today, I had no idea that things of this nature are happening around our blogging world!

As a practice, I take time each morning to visit the blogs that have linked(trackbacked) to my blog/blog post. You must have noticed the bottom left sidebar link, "Blogs that link here". I like to see what others say about my blog. In the process, I do find some really worthy reads, which I add to my feedreader.

Here I was, making my routine round trip when I came across a peculiar looking blog. I don’t want to make any blogging enemies, so I won’t mention the blog name. In spite of everything, this person did link to my blog! (If you are really interested, have a look at the blogs that have recently linked to Enhance Life. You should be able to figure it out yourself!) This particular blog had a preposterous layout (I should know I am a software professional!) and dull content. I believe the blog in question, falls into the personal development niche. However, I felt it didn’t have much to offer to the reader.

Yes, I am aware that there are many blogs of this caliber. However, the noticeable difference between those and this blog was the FeedBurner feed count. On the top right, was a heading subscribe to my rss feeds, and along side it displayed an image with a text indicating 2621 readers. I wanted to find out how this blog managed to get so many subscribers which such mind-numbing content. I didn’t even see a single comment for the 5 recent blog posts.

The detective inside me started to come alive. Even though I don’t have that many RSS subscribers, at least someone leaves a comment on every post!
My curiosity led me to investigate the HTML code of this blog. I also searched the web and found out a way to check the number of subscribers. All you have to do is type the following, on the browser.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~fc/feedname

Replace the feedname, with the actual feedname of the blog. For example, If you want to check how many readers I have, the link would be http://feeds.feedburner.com/~fc/EnhanceLife

As expected, the blog I was dissecting, returned a very low number; 18 readers to be exact. I was amazed to find out that this HTML code snippet was in the code. It took me a few minutes to realize that this person has swapped the feedname. The name of the feed was another blog’s feedname. I kid you not!

Why Do They Fake It?

I think it is because the feedcount lets the visitors know how popular the blog really is. By showing a larger subscriber count, new visitors might feel that the blog is worth subscribing to.
Statistics wise, I know it can be frustrating when you have a new blog. Blogging stardom doesn’t happen overnight! Thus, some might consider it to be a good ego boost and show off a high number of readers.

Does A Fake Feedcount Really Help Promote Your Blog?

My personal opinion is that it depends on the blog and how fake the feedcount is. Obviously, the blog I visited had not thought of the later!

When you visit a blog for the first time, in most cases, what happens is that you read just two or three articles, and then you look at RSS count. If the content and the RSS count impress you, you subscribe.
How many times has this happened to you? When you visited a popular blog the first time, noticed a high feed count of say 10000, and asked yourself - “Why haven’t I subscribed to this blog? 10000 RSS readers mean the blog is definitely worth subscribing!”
So, if you have a pleasing blog design and some decent content, I think you might get attention from your visitors with the fake feedcount.

However, if a reader finds out that the blog they read were faking their FeedCount, they would surely unsubscribe. They may even blog about it. Which might lead to controversy. We all know that creating controversy is a great way to get publicity! Is the risk worth it? Is your conscience up to it? Also, it is a matter of trust. My mindset is, “If I can’t trust that the number of subscribers shown is true, then how can I trust anything you say?”
Looking a bit deeper into the other side of the coin, if you’re planning on selling adverts on your blog, then it can be construed as fraud or misrepresentation. If I advertised on a blog that had faked its subscriber counts, I would demand my money back!

Would I Fake My Feedcount?

Having said the above, I have never faked the feed count on this blog and will never do it. It is my belief that it is unethical and wrong. One could achieve the same (if not better!) results, and keep the readers longer, using other much more ethical social proof ideas.
As tempting as it may be, I do not think it is a healthy way to attract more subscribers. I write a personal development blog and I stand by honesty is the best policy. I try my best to practice what I preach. I am a strong believer that dishonest activities like this will usually come back to bite you!

It doesn’t mean I don’t care about the statistics. I do! I love to see my numbers grow, but I have no desire to fake the readership. Even if I just have one reader today (Thank God I have much more!), I will still be happy knowing that at least someone is reading what I have to say. I would rather have an honest, engaged and small audience than a huge, fake or indifferent audience.

The blogging road trip, which has led me to today, hasn’t been easy. It has been hard work every step of the way. So I take great joy and pride in watching my subscribers grow- naturally. I admit, it is a slow process, but I am not going anywhere! If you like what you read here and have not subscribed to this blog yet, please consider subscribing to my RSS feed ;-)

Would You Fake The RSS Feedcount?

What about You? Have you ever considered faking the feedcount? Would you do it? Please leave your comments.

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