1. Parents kill their 3 children and commit suicide. A couple poisoned their three young children, and then hung themselves from a ceiling fan because they were HIV-positive. (I wonder what went through the relatives minds when they stood by their caskets.)
2. Father kills daughter over divorce. The police said the father was angry because he felt his daughter was disgracing the family!
If I am to be cut and dry about these stories, I think it all revolves around expectations. First incident, the parents were depressed because they were not getting expected results from the medicine. Second, father’s expectations of his daughter (possibly, religious and cultural expectations). Isn’t it about how these people reacted to their expectations?
In the context of self improvement, much has been said about attitude, goals, productivity etc. Rarely does one find anything on “Expectations”. To write this post, I wanted some background information on “expectations” and how it affects people. But there were only a handful online articles, and most of them covered the “Law of expectations”; which says “whatever we expect with confidence, becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy”. Did the “Law of expectations” get it wrong? Let’s see.
Expectations are often based on wanting things to be a certain way. As individuals we are mainly shaped by 1. What our parents expect
2. What our family expects
3. What our friends and colleagues expect
4. What we expect (money, career, entertainment etc )
In return, we also have expectations from them. Can you remember the last time you REALLY looked forward to something and it did not turn out as perfect as you anticipated? Was it because your expectations were unrealistically high? Or ..?
We all go through life expecting certain things. For example, for the hard work you put in, you expect a promotion and a pay rise. When you are in love, you expect it transform into "happily ever after".
When such expectations are NOT met, it can cause worry, anger, frustration and a host of other extreme negative emotions. On the other hand, if the expectations are met, it brings happiness, loads of smiles, certain contentment, and a host of other emotional highs. This could be why something we get really excited about often turns sour; Or something we don’t look forward to, turns out to be quite enjoyable (well, most of the time!).
Happiness equals reality minus expectations ~ Tom MagliozziNow that's not to say that we shouldn't have any expectations at all! I don’t think any of us can go through life without expecting or having certain “wants”. You can’t get rid of expectation because it is, to a certain extent, a part of you. Perhaps, that’s what keeps the flame of life, alive.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
