The problem is none of us say these words intentionally. Some people don’t even notice they are even doing it (if my mother hadn’t pointed out, I would either). It has become a habit.
So I did some reading on the subject and thought of sharing what I learned.
Dangerous Words = Spurious spacers , Wimpy words
Spurious spacers are fillers that we put into speeches to fill the gaps when we are nervous or have to think about the next word to say. Repetitive use of these words can become pesky and annoying.
words to watch out
"Um...", “Err...”
"Like..."
"Actually.."
"Really.."
"Right"
“Typically”
[Add your word list here]
The next time you are in the audience at someone else’s demo or presentation, keep track of how many times the presenter says one particular spacer, such as "like" or "you know." You may be astonished to find the number of uses of the spacer, is nearly double the number of sentences delivered.
Wimpy words express a sense of ambiguity, lack of definition and increase perceived complexity.
words to watch out
"You know?"
"Know what I mean?"
"As you can see..."
"Sort of", “Kind of”
"Hopefully..."
"Needless to say…"
[Add your word list here]
Tips to overcome the habit
1. If you can admit to yourself that you are one of those people who say such words, you can be more conscience in your conversations. List down the words you repeatedly use. Force awareness upon yourself. It might take a while for you to get over the habit. Keep noticing, until you stop!2. Ask your loved ones and friends to help out. Even though I didn’t react very well when my mother pointed it out, I am glad she did. The fact that she is on my back, helps. (Thanks mum)
Is it wrong to use these words? (My two cents)
I am in the company of my friends; I happen to slip a few filter words into the conversation. Is it wrong? No, I don’t think so. After all, I am what I say, in each and every way. I should be able to “be myself” at least around them. (If your friends find it irritating, you might have to find some new friends!)However, in a “professional context” using these words can lead to career suicide. For example, when making a presentation or speaking to a client, we are compelled to portray a professional image. Using words like “sort of”, “kind of” might imply that we are not being thorough.
The problem lies in switching from a “friendly” atmosphere to a “professional” atmosphere. After all, habit is a habit! How do you force yourself into awareness in one instance, and let loose, in another instance?
What are your thoughts on this?
