I have a fair share of goofy friends. One such friend recently asked me this question: “Do you belong?”
He then went on to say that he didn’t feel as though he belonged in this world. He wasn’t happy about it. The surprising part for me was when he said, “The reason I asked you is because you act as if you belong”. (Nah…, sometimes even for me, it seems like the earth is a very weird place!)
What followed was one of those special conversations when you explore something that you may not have previously verbalized. It is one of those delicious topics, mostly under the surface that makes all the difference in the world as to how we are, what we do and how we do it!
What comes to mind when you think of the topic, BELONG?
Trying to fit in, gain acceptance, seek approval, wanting to be liked and be a part of the “gang”.
We all want it, in varying degrees; from different people.
In school,
You don’t dress like them. You don’t like the same music they do, the same shows, and you certainly can’t relate to them on any other issue….
At a party,
You don't want to be the only person standing in the corner with a drink in your hand and a sad expression on your face….
Have you ever experienced the feeling of being left out in the cold, of wanting to belong but watching from the sidelines?
Are you the type of person who does NOT want to belong?
- Maybe you find it restrictive to be a part of a group.
- Maybe you want to be an individual.
- Maybe you resist being pigeon-holed by a label.
- Maybe you don’t know how to belong.
- Maybe you feel content just being you.
Harsh Truths On Wanting To Belong
1. The process of belonging to something should not always involve people and groups. You must belong to your own principles and dreams before all.2. Don’t live your life through your friends. Live it through your backbone! At the end of the day, it’s not usually about who you are with; it's about just who you are. (Don’t misunderstand, we need friends in our lives. The context here is “losing yourself” to have friends.)
3. Not being able to relate to the people who “everyone likes” (supposedly) can make you wonder why exactly it is that you don’t fit in!
4. People who can’t accept you will do so out of their own emotional needs. It is THEIR problem and not a measure of your self-worth.
5. If you feel good about the fact that you are who you are, your awesomeness will eventually be clear to everyone around you.
For those people who can't accept me, my response is, this is the only person I know how to be, and I've worked too hard to give that up for anybody.
When have you experienced a sense of “not” belonging?
Did you feel like you needed to buy your way in? Or have you just walked away from it all?
