You Are Insane! Yes, No, May be?

It might be just for playful banter, in anger or perhaps in ridicule.. but mostly certainly someone must have told you, “You are insane!” at some point in life. I know a few people who get a dose of this, multiple times for a given day! :-0)

I suppose everyone is given some spark of insanity (some, use it to great advantage! ). Anyway, quotes given below are what people wiser than me, have said about the subject!

"Sanity is madness put to good use." ~George Santayana

"Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world." ~R. D. Lang

"The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well." ~Joe Ancis

"Insanity is relative. It depends on who has who locked in what cage." ~Ray Bradbury

“Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.” ~Janet Long

"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you." ~Carl Gustav Jung

"In a mad world, only the mad are sane." ~Akiro Kurosawa

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense." ~Steve Landesberg

"Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children." ~Sam Levinson

"Insanity is the only sane reaction to an insane society." ~Thomas Szas quotes


Hope these brought a smile to your face… Have a good day!

More posts on humor

• Unintentionally Funny Movie Conversations
• What Dr.Phil, Britney Spears, Einstein (& Others) Had To Say To…
• Take A Break, With These One Liners
• 10 Types of Bosses You Need to Avoid

Using Humor As A Social Lubricant!

I just noticed that my recent posts at Enhance Life have been a bit heavy on the mind. So, today when I sat down to write a post, I made a pledge to steer clear of such genre.

After toying with several ideas, I decided to write about one characteristic I really admire in people; a sense of humor.

“If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable, without knowing it” ~Herodotus

We may not all be born comedians, but most people are naturally humorous. Some people effortlessly see humor in their surrounding, while others may not have such an easy flair for noticing the lighter side of things.

A Sense Of Humor Can Truly Save The Day

• Pulling your hair out…screaming profanities…banging your head against the wall. These are all tempting ways to deal with the everyday situations that drive us crazy. Regardless of what brand of humor appeals to you, the ability to find humor in stressful or uncomfortable situations can provide important benefits to your psychological and physical well-being.


• Humor enhances our ability to connect with others. Sometimes, it can increase trust and likability.


• Humor can defuse negative emotions such as anger and guilt, spark
  enthusiasm, and inspire motivation.


• At some point, we’ve all come across a tight-jawed sourpuss who takes everything with deathly seriousness and never laughs at anything. Expressing humor can reduce the inhibitions and increase the self-confidence of individuals who are otherwise shy and introverted by nature.


• Humor helps us cope, conquer, and carry on. It actually makes us measurably tougher!

If you can laugh at it, you can survive it ~Bill Cosby

Humor: General Guidelines You Should Follow

There aren’t definite rules of what’s funny and what isn’t. It’s really a matter of personal taste. However, use humor with care by being mindful of the following.

1. Play Nice. Commiserate, don’t humiliate. Ensure that the person is enjoying your attempts at humor. Keep in mind that “inside jokes” can sometimes make people feel excluded.

2. Timing is everything. Humor doesn’t work in every situation. It can detract from a serious discussion. On the other hand, it can ease tensions when things get too serious. Also, don't use humor when someone else is suffering a serious crisis, or when you are attending a somber event, such as a funeral etc.

3. Don’t overuse humor. At times, there is a need to seriously confront other people or our own pain. Don’t mask the pain and don’t use humor as an excuse for not confronting others when necessary.

4. Find your own style. Some people are spontaneous and outgoing. Others are low key, watchful, and bemused. Some tell jokes or make others laugh in other ways.

Much of humor depends upon shared experiences.. seeing things the same way. It relies on your point of view, your beliefs on life, your way of thinking.

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• 8 Ways To Ease Yourself Out Of Nosy Questions Without Being Rude

Humor Edition: What Dr.Phil, Britney Spears, Einstein (& Others) Had To Say To…

In one my previous posts, I provided several ideas on how we can escape our daily monotonous routine. I thought I will take my own advice and apply it to this blog. So this is my attempt to take a break from the monotonous Enhance Life routine. Hope you enjoy the answers to this very old joke!


Captain Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Dr.Phil: Well, we must first answer the question: how did the chicken feel about that?

Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken is a matter of relativity.

Britney Spears: Because it was not an egg, not yet a chicken.

Sigmund Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed theroad reveals underlying insecurities that stem from your early relationships with your parents.

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn’t ask anyone why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody just told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough for us.

OK. Now it’s your turn. Where does your creativity lead you? Anyone you’d like to add? Leave a comment and we can all have a hearty laugh. (Once in a way we all need to take a break from personal development and smile!)

More humor posts..

• Humor central:Written by kids
• Unintentionally Funny Movie Conversations
• Take A Break, With These One Liners
• 10 Types of Bosses You Need to Avoid

A Software Developer's Love Letter!

This was an email that was forwarded to me. I thought of sharing the creativity with you. Enjoy!

Baby,

I saw you yesterday while surfing on the local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For a long time, I've been lonely, trying to find a bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now. My life is just an uncompiled program without you that never produces an executable code and hence is useless.

You not only have a beautiful face, but all your Activex controls are attractive as well. Your smile is so delightful that it encourages me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power. When you looked at me last evening, I felt all my program modules running smoothly and giving expected results, which I have never experienced before.

With this letter, I just want to convey that, if we linked together, I'll provide you with all the objects and libraries necessary for a human being to live an error free life. Also don't bother about the firewall, which may be created by our parents as I've strong hacking capabilities by which I'll ultimately break their security passwords and make them accept our marriage.

I anticipate that nobody is already logged into your database so that my connect script would fail. And it's all certain that if this happened to me, I will crash my system beyond recovery. Kindly interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of your inbox.

Only yours,
SW guy

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The Balance Sheet Of Life!

Why You Shouldn't Confess First!

~ Adapted from Jokes.net

Three Psychiatrists decided that it wasn't fair that other people always brought them problems, while psychiatrists had no one to go to.

"We are all professional, so why don't we take this opportunity to tell each other our problems right now?" said the first psychiatrist. "For example, I am a compulsive shopper and deep in debt, so I always over bill my patients."

The second psychiatrist said, "I have terrible drug problem and regularly pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me."

The third psychiatrist said, "I know its wrong, but I just can’t keep a secret."

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The Balance Sheet Of Life!

If you are new to this blog please consider subscribing to my full feed RSS. You can also subscribe by Email and have new posts sent directly to your inbox.Thanks for visiting!

Reference: Hatnamag, July-September 2007 issue.

Our Birth is our Opening Balance!
Our Death is our Closing Balance!
Our Prejudice Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets
Heart is or Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account
Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behavior are our Goodwill
Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands/Patents
Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet accurately
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award!

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Job Interview

Source

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked the hotshot young Engineer, fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The engineer cooly said, "In the neighborhoodof $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years for starters, say, a red Corvette?"

The engineer tried to control his excitement, but sat straight up and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

"Yeah," the interviewer shrugged, "But you started it."

Smart Answers

* A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

* The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day", the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

* A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

* A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. The friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" answered the blonde."They're watch dogs!"

5 Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery

#1. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
#2. What's this doing here?
#3. Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
#4. I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
#5. Rats, there go the lights again...


(Source:email)

Unintentionally Funny Movie Conversations

Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?
Scarecrow: I don't know... But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they?
Dorothy: Why yes... I suppose they do
~ Wizard of Oz

Leslie Mann (Corinne):... so what's this I hear you were doing laundry with my sister?
Adam Sandler (Sonny):... she said we were doing laundry together? Where I come from, we call that doing the hibidy dibity ...
~ Big Daddy

Bart Simpson:... Dad, I am glad you are still alive ...
Homer Simpson:... yes, it is every parent's dream to outlive their children ...
~ The Simpsons

Hey are you nervous about your plane ride?
A little.
First time?
No, I've been nervous before.
~ Airplane

Do you have any favorite movie conversations?

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Take A Break, With These One Liners

* Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding

* Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

* A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

* Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

* You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

* Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

* To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Quotes That Make Me Smile

"The great question… which I have not been able to answer, despite my 30 yeas of research into the feminine soul, is 'what does a women want?' " --Sigmund Freud

“Always remember that you are at least 50% smarter than computers. Computers know ‘yes’ and ‘no,’ but we know ‘maybe.’” -- John Pironti

"When the solution is simple, God is answering" -- Albert Einstein

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is."
--Horace Walpole English novelist

"If it's green, it's biology, If it stinks, it's chemistry, If it has numbers it's math, If it doesn't work, it's technology."
--Unknown

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Top 5 Reasons Why The Voices Inside Your Head Talk Only To You

#1. Only You are smart enough to understand what they say.
#2. Only you care about them
#3. Only you have enough time to listen to them.
#4. Only you can act on them
#5.They only want to torture (and confuse) YOU!

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Nine Ways to Dwindle Productivity

Nine Ways to Dwindle Productivity

We live in a world where many companies expect more with less. It's called productivity. No no, not really! I am just trying to add some creativity to Productive Strategies post on Nine Ways to Devastate Productivity. Here goes,
(If you are confined to a desk job or a cubicle farm, these might sound familiar to you!)

#1. Use email for things that should be done in person Back and forth conversations are better suited to be done in person. Yet, this day and age most people prefer to handle "difficult" conversation by email. (I am guilty on that count too!)

#2. Use face to face and phone conversations for things that should be done over email In order to have face-to-face conversation you need to meet the other person. (Unless he/she happens to be seated next to you!) I am guessing this is good for your productivity since you get a break and a nice walk! However, it might not be for the person you are visiting!

#3. Always sit down in their office no matter how short of a conversation you need to have Now how can you have a rational conversation standing!

#4. Space out visits by 10 minutes Why visit a person once and get all things clarified at once when you can interrupted the person multiple times? Of course if the person is pleasing to the eye, it’s a different story altogether!

#5. Send multiple email messages Whether its multiple emails or (all in)one email it is the same bandwidth collectively. Oh so some people seem to think!

#6. Don't ask the right person Why should you? When you ask several "wrong" people you get to know a lot of people!

#7. Never interrupt them right after lunch It would not be a good idea to ask something really important. It's because they mediate right after lunch.

#8. Send emails that require them to hunt down information and people A little bit of detective work could spice up anyone's mundane job right?

#9. Spread gossip What better way to gain credibility and trust!

Have you been subjected to more creative ways to kill productivity? Do you have more to add to this list ? Your comments are welcome.

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Humor Central: Never Never, When Selling A Vacuum Cleaner!

Source: email

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living
room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings
onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful
vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s...!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"We just moved in, & there's no electricity in the house!"

MORAL: Gather All Required Information Before Working On Any
Project...!!

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Humor central:Written by kids

Its been far too long since my previous humor central post. Let me end that by presenting to you, What kids had to say! (Source: Email)

Q:HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

Q:HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

Q:WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

Q:WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

Q:On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

Q:WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

Q:WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7 (smart girl)

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

Q:IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

Q:HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

10 Types of Bosses You Need to Avoid

The american inventor spot has a creative article along with some funny pictures on 10 Types of Bosses You Need to Avoid!

#1. Avoid the Boss That Will Eat You Alive
#2. Avoid the Boss That Constantly Flirts!
#3. Avoid the Boss That's Always on the Go
#4. Avoid the Boss That's All Talk
#5. Avoid the Boss That Is Always Competing With You
#6. Avoid the Boss That Constantly Blows His Own Horn
#7. Avoid the Boss That Struggles to Stay Afloat
#8. Avoid the Boss That Constantly Clowns Around
#9. Avoid the Boss That Wants to Piss All Over You
#10. Avoid the Boss That Has No Personal Life.

In the real world though, one can't quite avoid the boss without having any repercusions. Can you ?