The Last Look

I watched a movie called Elizabethtown(2005) today and was inspired by a sentence that was said in the movie.

"You know the way people look at you, when they believe it’s for the last time. I’ve started collecting these looks.."

Knowingly or otherwise, we’ve all been at the giving and receiving end of many “last looks”.

It bought back many memories of my last looks…

• The look I gave to every doctor that came out of the theater door, while my father was having brain surgery
• The many “good bye” looks; the last look, that sometimes broke the very essence of me…
• The look on a 6 year old girl, when I dropped of some toys and books at a children’s home
• The look my grandfather gave me, before he passed away…

Well, there’s many many more but I’m sure you don’t want to hear about all those..Here’s a second look, at “the last look”!

The Last Look: Who cares!
Just the by-passing look of people you come in contact with. Their last look has no impact on you.

The Last Look: Regret
When you know, it shouldn’t have been the “last look”, but you did nothing.

The Last Look: Rejection
The looks that make you feel you are not good enough

The Last Look: Fate
If it was meant to be, it will be.. true.. Fate controls who walk into your life but YOU decide who you let walk out, who get’s to stay and who you refuse to let go.

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6 Life Lessons Hollywood Repeatedly Tries To Teach You

Movies are usually given credit for the movie’s plot or the director/cast or the value of the story itself. Rarely, do we commend a movie for the lessons learned.
To me every film no matter what it is about holds a potential wealth of thinking. There are some life lessons that Hollywood repeatedly tries to throw at you. Here are a few, I have noticed.

1. Every Experience (Good And Bad) Contributes To Who You Are & What You Know

As seen in Slumdog Millionaire, Abandon, Harry Potter

2. It's Never Too Late!

As seen in 40 Year Old Virgin, Righteous Kill , Revolutionary Road

3. You Have To Be Smarter Than Your Opponent

As seen in Wanted, Shooter, Dark Night

4. Every Decision You Make Can Have A Profound Effect On Your Life, & The Lives Of Others.

As seen in Max Payne, Seven Pounds, Home Of The Brave

5. You Need Other People, Period

As seen in Kun fu panda, 21, Oceans 13

6. Reality Can Shift Your Plans And You Have To Be Willing, Able & Ready To Change

As seen in You, Me & Dupree, Ratatouille, The Pursuit Of Happiness,




Any other lesson you might have noticed?

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Are You Constantly At The Mercy Of Circumstances?

We just began the last month for this year. I don’t know about you, but I feel like the past couple of months breezed by, too soon! In a few weeks, we will be celebrating yet another new year.

I know a lot of people (including myself) had high hopes for this year. May be you set out by defining goals and objectives. Have you achieved what you set out to achieve?
Now, when you read that question what goes through your mind? Is your mind filled with all the things that went wrong in your life that resulted in a less fulfilling lifestyle? Does your response start with "No, because?"

So what about me? Am I on the right track? Hm…There are areas in my life that I am fairing well beyond my expectations. Then, there are other areas, I haven’t even begun to get on track.

Crap happens to everyone!

We live in a world where things happen that are out of our control, people do things we don’t like, and we get things thrown at us, that we didn’t ask for. When derailed by circumstances, even a positive person will find it difficult to remain positive.

Circumstances may cause interruptions and delays
We all have an unbelievably strong will to survive. So there’s no doubt that irrespective of the current circumstance we will eventually dig ourselves out of it.

However, by the time that happens, it might be too much of an emotional rollercoaster. You would have wasted loads of precious time, and sometimes health may have suffered as well.

Quit blaming your star sign and make the most of circumstances
You might not be able to choose your initial circumstances, but you can choose your attitude toward your circumstances. Sometimes the situation you are in is so tough, that you just cannot work your way out of the problem. You HAVE TO think your way out of the problem.

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.~Hugh Downs

Regardless of what aspect of your life you may be struggling with; you CAN totally change any undesirable circumstance. First, you have to believe it. Many people have absolutely no confidence in a better future; they accept things just the way they are as if they have no way of changing a thing.

I can’t promise you that it’s going to be easy. I am someone who believes that we can control of how we interpret and respond to circumstances. As easy and straightforward as it might sound, this requires a lot of work!

“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” ~Don Juan

In the end, all that matters is that you have enough ambition, enough passion, enough drive to see what you want, visualize the success, and make it happen.

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."~George Bernard Shaw

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Heroes TV Series: Lessons That Can Awaken The Hero In You

I'm one of those people who spend more time on the internet than in front of a television. Apart from one or two shows, I am not really sure what’s airing on a regular basis. Over the weekend I got hold of the Heroes DVD series. The idea behind Heroes is that otherwise ordinary people start discovering that they have super-powers. Initially, they are confused but gradually they wake up to their calling. (Believe me, it much more interesting than what is described here. Watch it!)
Anyway, I am always on the lookout for good blog post ideas. While watching Heroes, it struck me that there is more meaning to its conversation; we can ponder, learn and apply it to our lives.

In spite the absence of super duper powers, in your own way, you are a hero as well. I don’t know whether you view yourself as such. I am not the first one to say this. Mariah Carey made a good case with her song Hero. Think about it. You can be a blogging hero, your better half might consider you a hero, to your child you may be a hero etc., So you see, you don’t need to paint the future, walk through walls, travel through time or turn water into wine. If you have the courage to do what is necessary, when it is necessary, you will realize, that a hero lies in you.

Every hero must learn his purpose. Then he'll be tested and called to greatness.

Reading the above quote, you might recall your job, your daily responsibilities or even your long-term goals. It refers to something much more greater; the very reason you exist. You may not believe in having a purpose or you may already have figured it out.
If you have discovered the purpose, that’s really great. Perhaps, the hardest part is keeping it with you on a daily basis; working on yourself to the point where you become that purpose.

It is man’s ability to remember, that sets us apart. We are the only species concerned with past. Our memories give us voice and bear witness to history, so that others might learn; so they might celebrate our triumphs and be warned of our failures.

This really sums up the mission of this blog! Believe it or not, this is the message I tried to get across in the About page. Admittedly, there are good mistakes (they help us learn as we live) and bad mistakes (the careless or chronic ones that plague the thoughtless or irresponsible). It naturally forms our past, and shapes our future.

A hero doesn't run away from his destiny. My only concern is whether I need to hide my true identity.

Being YOU is sometimes the hardest thing to do. People expect so many things from you. In times of turbulence, remember that your identity is your most valuable possession.

To survive in this world, we hold close to us those on whom we depend. We trust in them our hopes, our fears...

Family and Friends… They are the ones who will see you through your happy and sad moments; they are the ones you can count on when everything turns out wrong and everyone else is not on your side. If you are like me, you already know their importance.

When confronted by our worst nightmares, the choices are few; Fight or flight. We hope to find the strength to stand against our fears but sometimes, despite ourselves, we run...

Life throws you many curve balls and there are times when we all wish to “get away” from it all, even if for a while. The bitter truth is it doesn’t matter how far you run you can’t escape. Eventually, you have to force yourself to do what you thought was so impossible.

Where does it come from, this quest? This need to solve life's mysteries, when the simplest of questions can never be answered. Why are we here? What is the soul? Why do we dream? Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all. Not doubting, not yearning. That's not human nature. Not the human heart. That is not why we are here.

Have you watched the Heroes TV series? Did you ever feel like that episode start phrase was talking to you? Sending you a message?

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The 5 Emotions That Drag Us Down Or Shape Our Destiny

I watched three movies yesterday (a lazy week-end!). As the stories unveiled, I couldn’t help noticing how emotions interfere with certain decisions. Perhaps, being on the other side of the screen, made it easy for me to “see through” these characters.
Yes, I understand that the making of a movie, revolves around a “plot”. The roller coaster emotions, decisions and actions keep the audience entertained. The funny thing is, it’s not limited to the cinema; the very same thing happens in real life!

Looking back at your life, have there been moments which would have inspired a movie? I can recall a few. Some are funny(embarrassing!) and the rest.. awfully painful (no doubt, a recipe for a successful movie!)
May be you also created your own “plot” unknowingly…. giving away to emotions that shaped you to be where you are today.

Drag Us Down Or Shape Our Destiny?

Our minds perform a series of information processing in order to form strategies needed to live our daily lives (in other words, decisions are made!). We often have different preferences as to our preferred approach, varying between thinking and feeling. Ideally, everyone has a different "make-up" that influences how they take decisions.

I invite you to take a look at the last 5 (serious!) decisions you had to make. How did the following emotions influence that decision?

1. Fear
Of the future
Of change
Of failure
Of rejection
..............

Regardless of who you are or what you have achieved in your life, you have no doubt been confronted by fear in some capacity. Maybe some of our fears are brought on by our own experiences, by what someone has told us, by what we've read in the papers, watch on television etc.

Many of us don't pay attention to how fear is impacting our life, and we have grown to accept the “fear talk” as the norm. We believe what fear tells us, and sometimes we give a fair weight-age to a decision based on this emotion.

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually fear that you will make one." ~ Ellen Hubbard

2. Love
Who among us have not made hasty/crazy decisions because of love!

3. Lust
Desire, longing, craving, yearning.... for sex, power, wealth, possessions, success etc. Take a newspaper and browse through it; you will find many examples!

4. Anger
Anger is a great destroyer. Research has proven that anger biases people towards impulsiveness and risk-taking.

5. Pride
Pride based on personal excellence is encouraged. However, too much pride can easily tip the balance toward vanity, haughtiness and self-love.

Note: I know that this subject is much more complex than I reflect here. Indeed, it makes an interesting study for neuroscience and psychology. My intention was to ponder on how the regulation of emotions, influence our decision making. One might argue that we base a decision beyond the emotions mentioned here. I agree. I didn’t detail all because the emotions listed here, form the “basis” on which other emotions are built.

When making a decision, "parking my emotions at the door" has always been a challenge for me. How about you?

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Expectations: Is It A Human Weakness?

I happen to catch a glimpse of CNN news this weekend. There were two stories, I couldn’t erase off my mind and it prompted me to write today’s post.
1. Parents kill their 3 children and commit suicide. A couple poisoned their three young children, and then hung themselves from a ceiling fan because they were HIV-positive. (I wonder what went through the relatives minds when they stood by their caskets.)

2. Father kills daughter over divorce. The police said the father was angry because he felt his daughter was disgracing the family!

If I am to be cut and dry about these stories, I think it all revolves around expectations. First incident, the parents were depressed because they were not getting expected results from the medicine. Second, father’s expectations of his daughter (possibly, religious and cultural expectations). Isn’t it about how these people reacted to their expectations?

In the context of self improvement, much has been said about attitude, goals, productivity etc. Rarely does one find anything on “Expectations”. To write this post, I wanted some background information on “expectations” and how it affects people. But there were only a handful online articles, and most of them covered the “Law of expectations”; which says “whatever we expect with confidence, becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy”. Did the “Law of expectations” get it wrong? Let’s see.

Expectations are often based on wanting things to be a certain way. As individuals we are mainly shaped by
1. What our parents expect
2. What our family expects
3. What our friends and colleagues expect
4. What we expect (money, career, entertainment etc )

In return, we also have expectations from them. Can you remember the last time you REALLY looked forward to something and it did not turn out as perfect as you anticipated? Was it because your expectations were unrealistically high? Or ..?

We all go through life expecting certain things. For example, for the hard work you put in, you expect a promotion and a pay rise. When you are in love, you expect it transform into "happily ever after".

When such expectations are NOT met, it can cause worry, anger, frustration and a host of other extreme negative emotions. On the other hand, if the expectations are met, it brings happiness, loads of smiles, certain contentment, and a host of other emotional highs.
This could be why something we get really excited about often turns sour; Or something we don’t look forward to, turns out to be quite enjoyable (well, most of the time!).

Happiness equals reality minus expectations ~ Tom Magliozzi

Now that's not to say that we shouldn't have any expectations at all! I don’t think any of us can go through life without expecting or having certain “wants”. You can’t get rid of expectation because it is, to a certain extent, a part of you. Perhaps, that’s what keeps the flame of life, alive.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

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8 Ways To Ease Yourself Out Of Nosy Questions Without Being Rude

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you would have noticed that I rarely talk about myself. I am no different in "real life" either. I consider myself to be a private person. My closest friends' and family, are the only ones that have the "inside scoop" on my personal life. So, you can imagine that I have a lot of experience fending off nosy questions!

Most of the time when someone asks you a nosy question, you are caught off guard. It can make you annoyed, angry and even depressed. Think about it. If you have been working on your fitness and trying to loose weight for the past 3 months, and out of nowhere you meet an old colleague who asks, "Are you pregnant?"
The list goes on...
"Why were you laid off?"
"When are you two planning on getting married?"
"Is your daughter adapted?"
"How come you still are single?"

I am sure that you can add a thing or two, as well! For each person the questions rub a different sensitive point. On the other hand for some of you, these questions may not be nosy.

I have always been troubled as to why people ask nosy questions. My research led me to the following.

• They are unaware that it is a nosy question
People have different boundaries when it comes to their personal lives. The person asking you these questions may not consider it a “big deal” because it's not a big deal for him or her.
For example, I know that some people are comfortable talking about their personal finances in public. No surprise, I am not one of them!

Each question relates differently to different people. As a result even I could be asking a nosy question unknowingly.

Another inexcusable reason is
• They are curious
They want to feed their snooping mind with the details. It may be for casual conversation or to spread the word. Or simply, they just don’t have anything better to do!
Some people think that they should be able to know, and don't understand "what the big deal is." Its not that it’s a big deal, I just think its personal!

The painful fact is nosy questions are everywhere. Being asked a personal question is not such a big deal if it is once in a while. For some people though, it becomes a habit to get the latest scoop on others' lives. They keep crossing the line whenever you meet them. Therefore, instead of letting them ruin the rest of your day, you should know how to handle, and get around, their questioning techniques.

#1. The subtle hint by repeating
Wear them down by cheerfully repeating the same answer.

Example,
“You two were an adorable couple. Why did you break up?”
"Oh, there were a lot of complicated practicalities,"

“But why did you break up?”
"Well, as I said, there were a lot of complicated practicalities,"
If needed followed by, "I told you that there were a lot of complicated practicalities."

#2. It depends on what the meaning of “is” is
Take Bill Clinton’s Grand Jury testimony, for example,
ATTORNEY: Whether or not Mr. Bennett knew of your relationship with Ms. Lewinsky, the statement that there was “no sex of any kind in any manner, shape or form, with President Clinton,” was an utterly false statement. Is that correct?

CLINTON: It depends upon what the meaning of the word “is” is. If the-if he-if “is” means “is and never has been and is not” –that is one thing. If it mean there is none, that was completely true statement.

Now how can one retort to such answer?

#3. Redirect the conversation
Otherwise known as changing the subject! You can build up on the question and say, “Now that you mentioned… ” or “I am going to get a drink, do you want one?” etc

Thinking of a way to redirect the conversation at the snap of a nosy question is always difficult. But surely with practice, you will be able to diligently master this technique.

#4. Smile and say nothing!
Where appropriate.
This works wonders in a phone conversation. Sometimes, I just laugh and then keep silent.

#5. Vague replies
“What’s your salary like?”

“Oh well, I earn enough to get by”
Warning: This method does not work with the stubborn variety of inquisitive people, though. They just continue asking with even more persistence.

#6. Get distracted!
Proceed to get up (if you're sitting) and walk to another place. Rummage through your handbag as if you remembered something. Pick up the newspaper or magazine and leaf through it. Take out your cell phone and go through your text messages. You get the point…

#7. Be Honest
Sometimes the best approach in dealing with nosy questions are to just come right out and say it.
Example,
"I'm not comfortable talking about the specifics of our finances."
They may still feel put off, but at least they'll understand why you're clamming up.

#8. Don’t feed information
If you are a private person, don’t give out your “private” information to each and everyone. If you do, it will be a breading ground for more inquisitive questions!

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The Rules For Being Human! Do You Comply?

Author Unknown

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error; experimentation. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately “work.”
4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, then you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.
6. There is no better place than here. Where your there has become a here, you simple will contain another there that will again look better than here.
7. Others are mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. The answers lie inside you. The answers to life’s questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget this.

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Six Sources Of Procrastination

An excerpt taken from the newsletter Leadership Wired-March 2008 By Dr. John C. Maxwell

#1. We hesitate to do chores we don't enjoy.

For me, yard work has always been draining. I don't find pleasure in it, and there's a million other things I'd rather spend my time doing. When I was first married, I would procrastinate mowing the lawn until it grew into a small jungle. I knew mowing would make my home look nice and would please my wife, but I abhorred giving it my time and attention.

#2. We hesitate to do activities we aren't good at doing.

I enjoy the arts, and I am fascinated by highly creative persons. However, I'm not particularly gifted in painting, drawing, or designing. That's why I avoid decorating. I enjoy a finely manicured Christmas tree, or an exquisitely decorated room, but I simply have no talent at making things look good. As a consequence, I will put off decorating as long as possible.

#3. We hesitate to do what isn't on our agendas.

Human nature tends to be set in its ways. When changing circumstances make our plans obsolete, we resist making adjustments. We stubbornly hold to our old course of action and avoid altering our behavior.

#4. We hesitate to solve situations that are likely to be messy

A prime example is confrontation. It's difficult to tell someone what they don't want to hear and probably won't respond well to being told. Dreading the possible outcomes, we dawdle and delay rather than initiating confrontation.

#5. We hesitate to tackle a task that is high-energy and low-return.

As leaders, we are hard wired into getting the most bang for our buck. The same holds true with our time. We want to invest it profitably. As such, I have always been hesitant to put energy into relationships with high-maintenance donors or investors who aren't substantial contributors to the organization.

#6. We hesitate to step into things we don't understand.

Hence the saying, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." My generation has had to come to grips with fast-moving technologies, and it hasn't been easy. I don't understand many features of GPS systems, iPods, or PDA's, and, as a result, I procrastinate adopting them into my life - even though I know they could be helpful to me.

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A Day In The Life Of The Resigned

Poem by Dr. Joe Rubino

After all is said and done
And today is just a memory
We will look and laugh
And nod and sigh
And think it strange
To have tossed and worried
Hoped and prayed
For so familiar an ending.

Morning dawns
The city rises
Sweeping out the cobwebs of the mind
With well-worn brooms.
The moans of children off to school
To learn the ways to wipe the smiles off their faces.

Along the windings of the streets
The memories strive to linger
Of those who stood in fear
In stagnant and decaying lives
Not knowing of their right to choose
But opting to malinger.

The midday sun is strong and bright
For those who seek to find the light.
But for those in their hiding places
The darkness tends to conceal all faces.

The sun goes down
As dusk grows near
Turning memory into fear.
The chance to do – again gone by
We turn... and climb the stair... and sigh.

Too long day
(He'll turn and say).
She yawns
And nods her head.

Evening's come
The moon reminds
With such a grin
That wipes the laughter from your chin
The choice to act again passed by.

Bed awaits
It’s time for sleep
To gather strength
To live again
The memories that we keep.

How well does this poem describe your day?

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American Idol Got Me Thinking About My Most Valuable Possession

Music plays a big part in my life. Mainly it is a hobby, which sometimes turns into an obsession! I can play a few instruments and I like listening to various genres of music. I love to sing as well, but God has not bestowed that talent on me. Of course, that doesn’t limit me from exercising my vocal chords. I have my own center stage; in the shower!

Now you might understand why I am an ardent American Idol fan. Yes, I watch every show (without skipping through the commercials!). It is my time for entertainment, after a hard days work. Believe it or not, I was inspired to write this post, based on a certain comment that was made by Paula. (So may be watching American Idol is not a total waste of time!)

Let me take you back to last week, when the top 12 girls sang. Just before Kady Malloy started singing, they showed a recap of some scenes recorded backstage during Hollywood week. In an attempt to get her nerves out, Kady did an excellent imitation of Britney Spears. (Watch the embedded clip.)

However, her song Groovy Kind of Love, didn’t “wow” the judges. Simon said, when she does Britney, she's brilliant, but when she does herself, the lights go off. He went on to say, “I don’t know who could impersonate you”!

After Simon's slaughter, Rayan came over and asked a question from Kady. Not only to Kady but this is one question that is very important to each one of us. Rayan’s question was, “Is it difficult being you because so much is at stake?”

How Should I Be? JUST BE …!

The conversation progressed and Paula explains to Kady that she probably gets too caught up wondering how she should be, but that's the whole thing, she needs to just "be."

"Your identity is your most valuable possession."
— The Incredibles, That Elastic-Girl —

Not only American Idol contestants, but many of us also fall into this trap.

When I was in my early teens, I was infatuated with the dress code of the most popular girl at my school. Every time I went shopping, I would look for cloths that matched her style of dressing. The cloths were never "me", but I "copied" her dress sense with the hope of being popular. As with many things at that age, after sometime I grew out of that.

Let’s turn our head towards blogging. Haven’t you every tried to "imitate" what the famous bloggers are doing? Did you copy their blog template? blog structure? Some would even go as far as imitating the writing style of famous bloggers. Perhaps this is done with the intention of gaining more popularity. The mind set of "What worked for him/her will work for me" is established.

Imitating the blogging style of someone else was just one example. There are many other areas that we all struggle with and sometimes when the stakes are high, it so very temping (and easy) "to be someone else".

You and I have come long way since our childhood. I am sure you will agree with me, when I say - many factors have influenced you to be the person you are today.

I would like to hear your thoughts on the matter? Have you ever tried adapting another person's characteristics? How far did you go? Where do you draw the line between gaining influence from someone and protecting your identity?

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Common Sense; Where Is It When You Need It The Most?

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Common Sense is one of those much-used words that is hard to define. The dictionary calls it good sense in every affairs; practical intelligence. Once again the key word is good. We are evidently supposed to just know what makes good common sense. Of course some of it is learned, but really the idea suggests that we may have a built in sense of right and wrong.

Much has been written on the idea that we have a conscience or an intuition about good and bad, and I tend to agree.

For example if someone decided to steal something from you or kill you, without asking your permission, is it safe to say that you instinctively feel these things are wrong? Common sense tells you killing and stealing are not good. I wish all questions of right and wrong were that easy! Nevertheless, the key to it is, if you aren’t absolutely certain, keep searching for the answer. Your intuitions may work in subtle ways, making you sense that something just doesn’t seem right.

Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius.
George Bernard Shaw

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The Balance Sheet Of Life!

If you are new to this blog please consider subscribing to my full feed RSS. You can also subscribe by Email and have new posts sent directly to your inbox.Thanks for visiting!

Reference: Hatnamag, July-September 2007 issue.

Our Birth is our Opening Balance!
Our Death is our Closing Balance!
Our Prejudice Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets
Heart is or Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account
Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behavior are our Goodwill
Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands/Patents
Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet accurately
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award!

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Designing Your future Begins Here ….

I was at an IT workshop recently and one activity given to us was to “design the future” (as opposed to predicting!) for the next 10 years. Dealing with technology, I am sure you will agree with me when I say, imagination is the limit. I have watched several movies with a high caliber of “future technology”. I often wondered, “how in the world did they think of that!”. May be you have too.

The workshop inspired me to “design the future”, again! Yet, from a different perspective. Let’s call this edition the ‘enhance life’ edition!

Yes, Life. Do you still have one?

Unlike technology, there a few additional parameters that adds to the equation, when designing your LIFE's future. I suppose imagination is bound by reality and human emotion.

Some people might regard this post as stupid or nutty. You are welcome to your own opinion, after you need the next sentence!

In order to be where you are today, you certainly have to have designed it; knowingly or otherwise. The sequence of actions that have taken place over the last few years, has led you to, today. (And you don’t need me to tell this to you!)

Looking back, about 10 years ago I never “designed” it to be where it is today. Well, may be I partially designed it!. In some areas, designs have materialized to a construction marvel; in certain other areas, the design needs effective execution!

So what do you think?
Is a design for the future needed? Or do I go with the flow? (In a couple of years time, you will know whether you made the right choice! )

As You Travel Through Life….

By Author Unknown

As you travel through life there are always those times
When decisions just have to be made,
When the choices are hard, and solutions seem scarce,
And the rain seems to soak your parade.

There are some situations where all you can do
Is simply let go and move on,
Gather your courage and choose a direction
That carries you toward a new dawn.

So pack up your troubles and take a step forward -
The process of change can be tough,
But think about all the excitement ahead

There might be adventures you never imagined
Just waiting around the next bend,
And wishes and dreams just about to come true
In ways you can't yet comprehend!

Perhaps you'll find friendships that spring from new things
As you challenge your status quo,
And learn there are so many options in life,

Perhaps you'll go places you never expected
And see things that you've never seen,
Or travel to fabulous, faraway worlds
And wonderful spots in between!

Perhaps you'll find warmth and affection and caring
And somebody special who's there
To help you stay cantered and listen with interest
To stories and feelings you share.

Perhaps you'll find comfort in knowing your friends
Are supportive of all that you do,
And believe that whatever decisions you make,
They'll be the right choices for you.

So keep putting one foot in front of the other,
And taking your life day by day...
There's a brighter tomorrow that's just down the road -
Don't look back! You're not going that way!

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I do (But…. I don't): Decide To Be Decisive

Life is a collection of continuous decisions. It can be simple as 'what time to get up in the morning', or 'what to wear to office today' or as complex as 'should I take a loan' or "should I buy the new car" etc.

Here are a few guidelines that have proven to be useful to me.

#1. What’s the objective?
This is basically to establish why I am making the decision in the first place and what I intend to get out of it.

#2.Gather all the necessary information
Sometimes we are in groping in the dark since we don’t have the adequate information. Try as much as possible to get all facts together before the final verdict.

#3.Worst case scenario?
Evaluate the probable consequences of each decision. Would I be able to live with it, if in case reality turns ugly?

#4. Weigh your options
Seeing things on paper, goes a long way towards finding perspective. The traditional list of pro’s and con’s will do wonders. Or it can even be a creative sketch. Use what ever that works for you.

#5. Ask for advice
There may be others who have gone through a similar experience. Find out their insights on the matter. They can’t make the decision for you, however they could help you make the decision.

#6. Take your time
I generally take a long time to decide things (I am referring to "huge" decisions, not minor day to day ones!). However, when I decide something it is usually final. I don’t go back and fourth asking my self ‘What If’. So if there is no life threatening deadline , take your time; don’t be hasty. After all, we are what we are today because of the decisions we made in the past. The same goes for the future!

Is there anything else, you can add to this list?

Moments In Life

Author Unknown

There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.

Don't count the years-count the memories...........

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Happiness Is A Voyage

Happiness Is Voyage

(Source:email, I don't know who the actual author is)

We convince ourselves that life will be better once we are married, have a baby, then another.

Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well when they are older.

Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we’ll be happier when they grow out of the teen years.

We tell ourselves our life will be better when our spouse gets his/her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we finally retire.

The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now. If not, then when?

Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.

For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start. Real life.
But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start.
I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life.

That point of view helped me see that there isn’t any road to happiness.
Happiness IS the road.

So, enjoy every moment.
Stop waiting for school to end, for a return to school, to lose ten pounds, to gain ten pounds, for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car, for your mortgage to be paid off, for spring, for summer, for fall, for winter, for the first or the fifteenth of the month, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn… before deciding to be happy.

If It Is Meant To Be – It Will Be

You went for a job interview that you really wanted. A few days later, you get a rejection letter. Your mother says, “If It Is Meant To Be – It Will Be”

You think you are in love. You feel you’ve met the perfect match, until she announces that she only wants to be “just friends”. Then, your best friend says (Among other things!), “If It Is Meant To Be – It Will Be”.

You want to start your own business. You apply for a bank loan. Your request is denied. Your wife says, “If It Is Meant To Be – It Will Be”.

Your grandmother buys lottery tickets with the hope of winning the jackpot. She complains to you about not being lucky. You tell her, “If It Is Meant To Be – It Will Be”. :-)

I can come up with more examples. However, I think I will rest my imagination, for now.

So, tell me, has anyone every said that to you? At the time, did you feel like punching the person? :-) I am sure they all meant well. We find it so hard to believe. We keep asking “why”. We keep analyzing what went wrong.

Years later, we begin to realize. We wonder, “how true”. Not clear yet? Let me extend one of the above examples.

You might have not got “that” job, yet you got another job which is much better. You are happy where you are. May be you don’t want to admit it, but your mother was right.“If It Is Meant To Be – It Will Be” after all!

Do you see where I am heading with this? There are “bad” things that happen to us occasionally. We don’t always get what we want. Sometimes, I feel there is no logical explanation for such situations. We just have to “bow” our heads and convince ourselves that If It Is Meant To Be – It Will Be.

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The Strongest Principle Of Growth Lies In Human Choice

John Wesley recently wrote an intriguing article on Balancing the present and the future. Here is a glimpse of the article.

Consider some of the choices that impact our lives on a daily basis:
Do I stay up late hanging out with friends, or go to sleep and be productive tomorrow?
Do I eat out because it’s easy, or cook at home and save money?
Should I work late and get ahead, or enjoy the beautiful spring weather?

Each of these choices boils down to a simple question. Do I want to enjoy the present moment or plan for the future?

These are all difficult decisions because both answers have their merits. The present moment is fleeting and immediate, while the future is constantly hanging overhead. Part of us is constantly begging for indulgence while another part is worried that we’re falling behind and won’t be able to recover.

I couldn’t agree more. We are constantly hunted by choices. Some are easier than others. A few, you wish you never had to make! Often, I feel that we are overloaded with choices. Collectively, all these decisions shape our tomorrows, to come.

“The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice."
~ George Eliot (1819-1880)

What are your thoughts? How do you balance the present and the future ?

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