Why You Shouldn't Confess First!

~ Adapted from Jokes.net

Three Psychiatrists decided that it wasn't fair that other people always brought them problems, while psychiatrists had no one to go to.

"We are all professional, so why don't we take this opportunity to tell each other our problems right now?" said the first psychiatrist. "For example, I am a compulsive shopper and deep in debt, so I always over bill my patients."

The second psychiatrist said, "I have terrible drug problem and regularly pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me."

The third psychiatrist said, "I know its wrong, but I just can’t keep a secret."

Related Posts
Written By Kids!
Unintentionally Funny Movie Conversations
Nine Ways to Dwindle Productivity

Job Interview

Source

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked the hotshot young Engineer, fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The engineer cooly said, "In the neighborhoodof $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years for starters, say, a red Corvette?"

The engineer tried to control his excitement, but sat straight up and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

"Yeah," the interviewer shrugged, "But you started it."

Humor central:Written by kids

Its been far too long since my previous humor central post. Let me end that by presenting to you, What kids had to say! (Source: Email)

Q:HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

Q:HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

Q:WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

Q:WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

Q:On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

Q:WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

Q:WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7 (smart girl)

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

Q:IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

Q:HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10